Attribution: Gridprop at English Wikipedia, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that since the keeper woke up to a white landscape on black Friday, he does not feel bound to a specific color for this day after Thanksgiving.
*Red Friday–Borrow yet more money to further enrich the narcissistic credit industry vultures.
*Green Friday–Count your hard currency and stash it in the mattress, then lie down on the mattress.
*Yellow Friday–Do not shy away from meaningful confrontations with pushy relatives, aggressive salesclerks and sassy teenagers.
*Orange Friday–Do not identify this color with a single political personality lest you end up with another really Black Friday.
*Brown Friday–This color, so prominent in the natural world and familiar to dog-walkers with their little plastic bags, should not be the color of your nose under any circumstances.
*Blue Friday–Feel sorry for yourself for being too old to enjoy competitive shopping, but not too old to honor such facts as blue being Phyllis’s favorite color. Buy her some wine in a blue bottle.
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