Attribution: Wtshymanski at English Wikipedia, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has a message on this foggy morning for the student who parked in the lot next door and trotted off to classes leaving his/her vehicle lights on:
“Dear driver:
“No matter what happens in your classes, you will learn something today: unless your vehicle does it automatically, you need to TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS after parking!
“We have all been there. And on a foggy morning like this Nov. 25 you will be joined by multiple others, especially those who predate vehicles so automatic they advise on bathroom stops and will turn off your headlights without being told to do so.
“Later today the streets will teem with professional “starter assisters” of all sorts scurrying to hundreds of dead batteries like yours. They do not come cheap: the keeper knows, and he now carries a little emergency “start-up” device of his own and would lend it to you if there was a way to make contact.
“The keeper’s low-battery experience occurred as he waited for Phyllis at a medical appointment and so he blames her even though he was sitting at the controls listening to the radio with the headlights on and the engine off as the battery went south.
“So, student driver, take comfort in the fact that you never get too old to be dead-battery stupid!”
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