Kickass and Election Rapture by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Jan Luyken , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, ever anxious to set things straight, has some information for those millions who have obviously confused tomorrows election with either the “rapture” or the “second coming.”

Very basic fact checking reveals that the biblical “walking on water,” event was performed in January on a frozen northern Wisconsin lake when anybody could walk on water.

Also, the “feeding the multitudes with a few loaves and fishes” story is nothing more an accounting of the usual Friday night fish-fry scene at any number of Wisconsin venues.

Further Garden of Edan study is needed but it is now suspected that a rib was not the only thing taken from man to create woman: brains were definitely involved and a permanent female-favored brain imbalance resulted.

Tomorrow—Nov. 5, 2024, the gates of hell will open briefly, but women and their male supporters will slam them shut and celebrate by turning some water into wine.

The keeper and Phyllis can’t wait!