Kickass and Halloween Election by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Lee Coursey from Decatur, GA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, with a memory bank that includes life with outhouses and wall telephones, finds himself unable to distinguish Halloween from the presidential election and is bothered by the threat that trick-or-treaters may tip over the White House.

Something went out of Halloween for the keeper’s age group with indoor plumbing and the demise of outhouses: How can you tip over a bathroom?

That old outhouse “trick” is about as brainless as it gets and corresponds so well with much of the current leadup to the election, that the keeper is not moved to apologize for his confusion.

What does concern him, however, are those tricks or treaters who are promoting a return to the days of outhouses and wall telephones.

The keeper and Phyllis and their crowd know what those days were like, and you do not want to go back there, especially with winter coming on.