Illustration by Michael Dimilo
Featuring the Fabulous Dadbots: Mark M., Dave S., Mark O., Dennis C., and Geoff Carter
Every Presidential election season has its unforgettable moments, indelibly etched in the collective voter memory.
As of June, it might have been Biden’s debate declaration that “We beat Medicare”. Then it looked as it might be Trump’s triumphalist fist pumping moment. But clearly, barring something really crazy, it is going to be Trump’s angry, red-faced shout that immigrants were eating dogs and cats! Really, any scriptwriter who proffered that plot line would soon be pounding the pavement in his daddy’s wingtips (Bots— can you identify that reference)?
The amazing reality is that JD Vance initiated this entire mess. The wild & unconfirmed rumors were flying harmlessly on Facebook, when Vance elevated them into the national conversation. Trump took it from there.
That’s two grievous “own goals” scored by Vance. The first, of course, was the “childless cat ladies” comment, which, to be fair, was a couple years old, yet still relevant. (And he refused to back down, so he deserves all the grief he got.).
When you consider that Job One for the VP nominee is to NOT cause problems, Vance ought to consider locating HIS daddy’s wingtips (or his Memaw’s).
In any event, this lead from today’s NYT is jaw dropping:.
“Senator JD Vance of Ohio, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, said Sunday that he stood by the debunked claims he and former President Donald J. Trump have spread suggesting Haitian migrants were eating pets, saying that he was willing “to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention.” -– The New York Times
Just think about what he’s confessing there. He will literally say anything to get elected. That is taken for granted, JD. It’s not necessary to say it out loud!!!
It’s been an eventful late summer and early fall. What kind of October Surprise are we going to see? Secret video of Kamala performing gender reassignment surgery on an imprisoned immigrant? A successful assassination attempt? Discovery of Tucker Carlson’s secret child porn stash? Tim Walz’s secret love child, conceived in the 2×4 stacks at Menard’s?
-Mark
Deaf ears on the reference but I did figure out the wingtips ref, (via the usual digital assistant).
Yeah, Vance came up with it, but Trump decided to run with it. Who knows, maybe his “anything” that gets more clicks is good” mantra, somehow works for him. Would love to see blue collar Ohioans say, “f… this clown…we’re easily manipulated…but there is a limit.”
But not optimistic…. “Grab ‘em by the pussy” didn’t bother his voters… the chlorine covid quick fix injection didn’t stick… He’s a clown, an entertainer… and Joe the plumber understands his genius. This is why cults are do dangerous.
….loved the ‘own goal’ line.
Marianne Williamson—remember her?…dem POTUS candidate in 2020…mindfulness self help guru–weighed in on the pet eating crisis. Critical of her own party as being dismissive elitist, not giving pause to understand the voodoo culture of Haiti. Too risky, but I wish someone would’ve spoken up for these refugees… if, Haiti is a hell hole, despite Sean Penn putting boots on the ground to help…and now Kenya. It was, (and still is), a great opportunity to turn the spin 180 and paint a positive picture of America helping Haiti, while helping ourselves–Springfield, Ohio, (which I assume needs service labor).
What’s on tap for October? Trump dies in sleep. Biden dies in sleep. Hunter shoots Trump. Kennedy shoots a panda at the Washington zoo. Malik Willis leads Pack to the Super Bowl.
Last: On cycling news, I recently converted to waxing my chain. Any questions?
-D.
I’ve been waxing my chain for years….
–G
Quite the prognostications, D. I myself think Trump’s cell phone will blow up in his front pocket; luckily, because of the miniscule size of his magic mushroom, and the vast layers of insulating fact, very little damage will be done. I predict he will be using Mike Lindell’s MyPillow as a crotch bandage.
Seriously (but who can tell these days?), I think that the truth of Vance’s assertion of the “pets on the menu” story doesn’t matter. Mark Twain once said, “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.” Not that the absurd pets story makes sense, but fiction can often point up greater truths, for example, the horror of warfare in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court or the absurdity of racism in Huckleberry Finn.
Of course, fiction can prop up untruths. In the antebellum South, as a response to abolitionist fiction like Uncle Tom’s Cabin, a weird little genre called plantation fiction popped up. In these stories, a Northern woman would fall in love with and marry a Southern plantation owner. Instead of being horrified at the conditions of slaves at her new husband’s plantation, she would discover that slaves loved their master and their work and could not survive without the plantation system. Propaganda.
So, if my logic holds up, Vance is admitting to using propaganda and acknowledging that using it for political aims is okay. Hmmm. What would Goebbels say? That the people are so stupid, it’s okay to tell them they’re gullible fools? That lies are really the truth?
I just heard this morning that Trump plans to visit Springfield. Why? To have dinner? Dachshund bratwursts? I understand that Proud Boys and other extremist groups have been marching—sauntering—through the town. Does Trump hope to foment a riot and blame it on Biden and Harris’ immigration policies? I wonder that the Ohio governor doesn’t call out the National Guard and clear out the extremists—unless that violates their rights—or at least call them to “protect” the former flatulent president.
G
Interesting Geoff. The tangents we all provide…triggers.
- Your’s on Twain is a close relative to one of my MT fave’s: “If you don’t lie you don’t have to remember so much.”
- Had to look up Goebbels…yikes, he’s been reincarnated in Steve Bannon. Sub-tangent… .read that he’s credited with a line: “When I hear the word culture, I get out my revolver”. I assume this was the Nazi’s no patience for such indulgences…(and others in history as well). Correct me if wrong. Regardless:
- …That reminded me of an art lecture some artists friends of mine had me attend in the early ‘80s—deep within the concrete catacombs of The Humanities building (which is coming down btw—thank heavens, its architecture is the antithesis of human scale design). The speaker, if memory serves was ex-Vogue photographer Annie Liebovitz, (not to be confused with Annie Lennox (Eurythmics). She put up a slide with a beautiful old vase, then popped in the caption: When I hear the word culture, I get out my checkbook. Only now, thanks to Geoff Carter, have I made the gruesome connection.
- Speaking of Ohio and punk, I loved the way Chrissie Hynde bellowed out the forlorn nature of urban decline (some would say transition) in “My City Was Gone”. A-o…way to go, Ohio. I saw Kenosha’s downtown evacuated…and there are countless others…but eventually they reinvent…and thrive in other ways…depending on…(don’t worry I won’t bother you with my 2 bit analysis). Now Springfield is reinventing with Haitians. (Ironic The Simpson’s was set in Springfield, ay—(Oregon).
‘nuf.
-Dave.
That was Goebbels’ line?
Trailer screenshot (RKO Radio Pictures), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
OMG, you mean the Nazi, not George Gobel the entertainer. I understand George had a popular TV series in the late 50’s but I remember him from the Hollywood Squares. The setup for that show was weird and silly but the competition was secondary to the spontaneous unpredictability of it. Could the selected Square occupant, typically over-the-hill entertainers and comedians, come up with an improvised off-the-cuff funny reply to their assigned question. Sometimes they did and other times it was “I got nothing” embarrassment. Either was good in my opinion. It seemed genuinely spontaneous (it might not have been). The Square “celebrities” were all over the map and often in character from whatever made them the temporary celebrities they were. A favorite game show of mine. I never watched any of the remakes for fear of damaging my prized memories.
BTW, George’s birth name was Goebel, dangerously close to the Nazi propagandist.
Goebbels had a ton memorable quotes about messaging and the media. I think a lot of our current PR and media executives, campaign communications directors, intelligence officials, marketers, lobbyists and influencers must have studied the guy because they sure do follow his playbook. It works. “When I hear the word culture, I get out my revolver” is not one that is directly actionable but has great utility in the arts. All you have to do is substitute different pairs for “culture” and “revolver” and you have lyrical gold. In 1986 Robyn Hitchcock wrote “The President” which contained the following lines:
“When I hear the word Democracy, I reach for my headphones. When I hear the word Security, I reach for my shotgun.”
Works every time.
Springfield Ohio. Man, they got me really curious. I’d love to see the reality of the place. Population 59,000 including 15,000 Haitian immigrants. How do they make that work? When and why did the first Haitians go to Springfield fuckin Ohio? Based on where I see Springfield is located in Ohio, I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a black folk presence there when they started coming. Why did they keep coming? What do they do there (besides go to church and eat pets)? From what I know about Midwestern white folks and immigrants (and the NextDoor app), I’m guessing the charge of pet eating is probably down the line of vitriol directed at those folks. I’ll probably never get to go, so I just wish them the best til this blows over.
MarkO
Charles Nelson Reilly.
Phyllis Diller.
Paul Lynde, the Human Smirk. He could read a Betty Crocker recipe or say the Rosary and still make it sound dirty.
That’s all I can remember. Of course this was on daytime TV at the same time that I was watching “Batman” and not getting the camp at all.
Unrelated … but I just watched “Run Silent, Run Deep”, the WWII submarine drama starring Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster. Jesus, the manliness of Burt! Very bracing. It’s enough to make me want to switch teams! A very young Jack Warden has a supporting role, basically playing himself. And Don Rickles, whom I believe was never young, plays a wiseacre crewman.
Mark M–
Human smirk. So, spot on! Others:
- Rich Little: a peer of Rickles, Lynde, Carlin. Impersonations his specialty.
- Nanette Fabray: Tart. Not French
- Charles Nelson Reilly: Eccentric. He of the neck scarf. (A flag for homosexual…and he was). Surprising (to me): Not a brit.
Rickles looked good in uniform, small, admin/comms guy…perhaps the pattern for Radar O’Reilly? Kelly’s Heroes had an epic cast—see below, (even Archie Bunker, who my dad once told me did a lot of war movies. These prior to finding his niche as sexist/racist/curmudgeon in chief in All in the Family (Carroll O’Connor).
BTW, I once heard an interview—maybe Fresh Air—with writer, Norman Lear. A breakthrough show. 6 pm Saturday. Receives high praise for gently exposing racism, sexism and the like. (Teaches/exposes via humor not proselytizing). Interview relayed the behind the scenes drama with CBS execs wanting to censor Lear’s “radical” topics. Eventually one of the key ingredients that shift the mores of a society—says PhD. social scientist me (self degreed). Comedians are often first to tackle touch subjects…serve an important purpose—daylighting issues, showing facets many have not considered, generating post show dialogue… (again, this is based on years of analysis…”I hike, I know things”). A lot of good middle east comedians out there. Kumail Nanjani is one and played one in The Big Sick. (also a key in Silicon Valley—recently given high reviews in this forum)
Donald Sutherland: Crazy tank driver…I think they commandeered the revered German Tiger Tank…which evolved (still awesome) and was in the news back in the early days of the Ukraine war. What an arc of characters he took on. Recently passed.
Telly Savalas: Crazy look in his eye, stentorian voice, a high school friend and I used to review “Kojak” the day after. Detective drama, but we found it hilarious. BTW, that was the era of detectives with disabilities: Bald (Kojak), Wheelchair, (Ironside), Blind (can’t remember), Bumbling (Columbo), there may have been a couple others.
Clint: Tour de force professionally but future small minded dick as a layman.
–D
You know Paul Lynde voiced the character of Templeton the rat in the animated version of Charlotte’s Web. Perfect casting. A vermin smirk. “Hollywood Squares” was always a guilty pleasure of mine. Charlie Weaver, Karen Valentine, I want to say George Hamilton, Joan Rivers, all the b-listers. It was fun.
It’s funny you bring up Don Rickles. You’re right. I think the guy was forty years old when he was born. I was watching Beach Blanket Bingo (another guilty pleasure) the other day, which he is in (along with Buster Keaton) and even then—probably at thirty—he looks like somebody’s dad..
I’m amazed the cats and dogs of Springfield story has such legs. How gullible has the American public become? How stupid have they become? Trump is threatening to visit Springfield (a hollow threat, I hope), and I’m afraid his presence would create a flashpoint. I guess there are already Proud Boys and other extremist groups hanging out there—I’m sure more would follow in that orange garbage scow Trump’s wake.
I wish the Ohio governor would call out the National Guard to help these guys cope with the threats, the closings, and the bad attention (and bad intentions). They should sue the Trump campaign for libel.
G
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