Attribution: SSEC/CIMSS, University of Wisconsin–Madison (Attribution or Attribution), via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s note to hurricane Helene as it prepares to mark its Florida territory using a crude canine method:
“Dear Helene: It is not necessary for you to claim Florida as your very own since nobody else wants it, especially since it is only a matter of time until it either sinks completely or self-destructs under current oafish political leadership and lax residential requirements.
“So, Helene, save your crude territory-marking efforts for a place that could really benefit from being symbolically peed on, like Washington DC, which is already under evacuation orders, has been sandbagging for decades, and is still struggling to recover from “Stormy Daniels.”
“We in Wisconsin would invite you to visit us, Helene, but we are adjusted to dealing with tornadoes, which are baby hurricanes with nasty temperaments; and one is headed toward us from California trailing a debris field of money and traveling under the illusion that Wisconsin will not recognize BS when it sees and smells it on a gale-force west wind.”
“The keeper and Phyllis are hunkered down and thinking of boarding up the windows should you think of scheduling a rally nearby. In the meantime, Helene, try to be a “good boy!”
Photo by Bill Stokes