Kickass and Corporate Labor Day by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Richard Hurd from Leland, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis wonder on this Labor Day weekend how corporations, having been judged by the Supine Court to be “people” for political purposes, will be celebrating?

Will the corporations gather their loved ones together and head to the park with picnic baskets in hand? Will the corporations get in the car and drive hundreds of miles to visit grandma and grandpa? Maybe the corporations will decide that since money is not a problem for them they will book a luxury cruise that visits places where citizens grovel in interesting creative poverty as they recover from a corporation-profitable war.

The keeper, borrowing and mangling old adages, observes that he has never met a corporation that he liked well enough to become good friends with: It seems forever true that when it is the corporation’s turn to buy a round it is nowhere to be found– probably in the restroom counting its “Citizens United” money.

Happy Labor Day!