Illustration by Michael DiMilo
By Geoff Carter
During campaign season, the term “family values” is thrown around like confetti at a ticker-tape parade. Depending on who is using it, the term can encompass anything from banning books, condemning same-sex marriage, or reviling immigrants to lowering middle-class taxes, installing universal healthcare to extolling reproductive rights. In short, “family values” is a political one-size-fits-all sort of trope.
The Christian Nationalist movement—and the Republican Party it hides behind—avers that family means a father, a mother, biological children, and a fierce intolerance of anything outside these boundaries. Vice-presidential candidate J. D. Vance maintains this is the only definition of family. He has ridiculed single women as “childless cat ladies” and has insisted that childless couples should pay more taxes and have a lesser vote than couples with biological children.
In a further affirmation of this narrow definition of family, Donald Trump’s Supreme Court overturned Roe -v- Wade, putting millions of women with problem pregnancies at risk of illness, permanent infertility, or worse. Some states refuse abortions even in cases of rape or incest. One ten-year-old pregnant rape victim in Ohio had to travel across state lines for medical help—a process which is illegal in Texas and some other states. Some states have outlawed IVF and other fertility procedures and there is even discussion of outlawing birth control.
Democrats tend to favor policies that embrace a broader definition of family. The Affordable Care Act protects families from catastrophic medical costs by providing affordable insurance. President Biden succeeded in making big pharma reduce drug costs so families don’t have to choose between rent, food, or medication. The Democratic Party typically supports public schools, sensible gun laws, and affordable college—all of which provide equal opportunities—and safety—for struggling middle-class families.
Policy and rhetoric aside, contrasting examples of family values became evident at the Republican and Democratic National Conventions. By examples, I mean actual expressions of familiality. During the first night of the RNC, shortly after the attempted assassination of Donald Trump, the presumed nominee sat behind the stage (wearing a pillowish bandage on his wounded ear) with his family as the parades of the GOP brain trust (like Hulk Hogan, Kid Rock, and Governor Justice’s bulldog) proclaimed their allegiance to the former president.
Mr. Trump barely acknowledged his sons and family and rarely—if ever—spoke to them. Vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance—except for an initial nod—became little more than window dressing to Trump. After the former president’s interminable ramble masquerading as an acceptance speech, family members—as is traditional—crowded onstage to join the nominee. They hugged stiffly and smiled as they waved at the crowed, resembling nothing so much as one of the animatronic displays at Disneyland’s Hall of Presidents.
The Trumps have never seemed to be a close family. During Donald Trump’s month-long fraud trial in New York City, his family rarely appeared to support him. His wife Melania never showed up and his sons only came once or twice. Families usually support each other in times of stress. At one point, Mr. Trump tried to be released from court one day to attend his son Baron’s graduation. The request was granted, but Trump ended up not going. Again, not the actions of a typical proud—or even dutiful—father.
On the other hand, the Democratic National Convention reveled in the idea of family. Presumptive nominee Kamala Harris’ extended, blended, and incredibly diverse family was not only mentioned, but they also figured significantly into the proceedings. Kamala’s sister Maya came onstage to tell stories of how fiercely protective her big sister was of her during childhood. A video told the story of Shyamala Gopalan Harris, Kamala’s mom, and her strength and righteousness while raising her daughters as a single mom.
Kamala’s grandnieces came on the stage at the convention for a short—and incredibly cute—tutorial as to how to pronounce their auntie’s name. First Gentleman Doug Emmon’s children came onstage to talk about their dad. In short, it was a profound and beautiful display of support, dignity, love, and acceptance.
Vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz was another living and breathing example of democratic family values. During the first night, while being interviewed, his son Gus and daughter Hope sat behind him mugging and making rabbit ears behind their dad on national TV. A video recently surfaced of Tim Walz and daughter Hope at the Minnesota State Fair bantering about which rides to go on and what to eat afterwards:
Tim: “We’ll have corndogs.”
Hope: “Dad, I’m a vegetarian.”
Tim: “Turkey, then.”
Hope: (exasperated) “Yeah, turkey.”
Not an atypical father-daughter exchange.
During his acceptance speech, when Tim Walz proclaimed that his family was the light of his life, his son Gus leaped up in tears shouting, “That’s my dad!”. In fact, Hope, Gus, and Gwen Walz were all in tears as they watched Tim accept the nomination. Tim and Gwen had previously acknowledged in an interview that Gus has ADHD, anxiety issues, and nonverbal learning disorder, which his dad has called his “superpower”.
When Gus leaped up to cheer for his dad, neither Hope nor Gwen told him to shush or sit down. They were neither embarrassed nor ashamed. This was their Gus, and they were proud to have him. He also became a social media darling in that moment—at least in some quarters.
Conservative viper Ann Coulter termed Gus’ outburst “weird” while conservative Milwaukee radio commentator Jay Weber called him a “blubbering bitch boy”. In a remarkable and unexpected show of decency, his radio station WISN has taken him off the air—probably temporarily.
The definition of family values between these two events, and these political parties, couldn’t be starker or more absolute. The Republicans wield the term “family values” like a weapon, using it to restrict reproductive rights, ban books, strip civil rights for LGBTQ+ and other minorities, and to prioritize the restrictive dogma of Christian Nationalism, as evidence in its own Bible, Project 2025.
Democrats, on the other hand, seem to believe family values means a mindset that celebrates and champions families. From the diversity of the Harrises, including Bella Emmons, Doug’s daughter from his first wedding, in all her tattooed glory, to the beautiful grandnieces, to sister Maya, and to all the extended family, to the solid and comfortable safety, love, and affirmation of the Walzes, these families really do seem to enjoy each other. They exemplify family values.
The Trumps’ idea of love for family seems like a barren infertile place in comparison. There were only perfunctory awkward hugs, little affection, and almost no joy in each other’s company. That’s not what they say, but it’s evident in what they do—or don’t do. After all, a picture is worth one thousand words.
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