Photo by Bill Stokes
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, sometimes puzzles over the keeper’s technique for getting the day started, such as his scattering blueberries all over the kitchen floor as he pulls out the bacon and eggs.
It turns out that spilling the berries—as opposed to “spilling the beans” has no hidden cultural message but is simply part of a challenging early morning exercise program that the keeper is working to perfect before offering it to the public.
Some preparation is necessary: do not close the berry container lid when storing the berries next to the eggs, ignore Phyllis’s lament that bacon is not part of a healthy breakfast, and mop the kitchen floor at least once a month.
Once down on the floor picking up the berries, plan just how you will be getting back on your feet without admitting to the EMTs exactly how and why you got there.
The “spill the berries” exercise program comes complete with its own vocabulary suggestions, expressive words that can also be used for occasions of spilled milk or dropped eggs.
The keeper thanks one and all for their enthusiastic support and wishes everyone a happy start to the day.
Photo by Bill Stokes