Kickass and Weed Edibles

Attribution: Monica Arellano-OngpinCC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper’s inclination to concoct “adventure omelets” for his breakfast—using whatever he finds in the fridge, caught up with him yesterday when, along with some leftover kale he found what he took to be a couple chunks of meat in a plastic bag.

Half-way into consuming his creative breakfast, Phyllis informed the keeper that he was eating the weed “edibles” she had been given as possible relief from hip pain.

The keeper’s experience with “recreational substances” features mostly alcohol and getting stoned on weed at breakfast is not something he is familiar with. He is a little more familiar with it now however, after a day of compromised balance, sporadic incongruous images, the inability to put two and two together with his customary inefficiency, and a yen for sweets.

However excessively reactive that might be, it happened and in its wake the keeper would note–the day after, that weed does not come with the hangover that alcohol does.

To the provider of Phyllis’s edibles—and you know who you are, would you kindly replace the items that went into the keeper’s breakfast. He apologizes and wonders why Wisconsin is surrounded by states where a weed omelet is not only legal but probably much appreciated by someone looking for relief from hip pain.

Photo by Bill Stokes

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