Attribution: Photo by Mona Kool-Harrington on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, weary of accepting what gets handed to him from such entities as the red-tie mafia and the black robed robbers has turned his attention to the birds and will henceforth not be accepting every aspect of the avian arrangement whereby he is expected to provide food and water in return for a fleeting glimpse of some elusive feathered entity that passes over in the night on its way to Greenland.
To start, birds will be identified as the dinosaurs—monsters, they are descended from—the English sparrow becoming a “chirpasaurus,” for example.
At the outset, the keeper will be removing the two orange halves that he put out weeks ago and that have been totally ignored; and he is serving notice that if there is no response at his hummingbird feeder within the next two weeks it will be removed it in favor of a UFO feeder filled with brandy.
Recognizing that the keeper and Phyllis’s balcony location on the 5th floor of a huge building is not ideal bird habitat, the keeper cites his long accommodating but unappreciated history with birds, as the reason his current bird thinking is more and more in terms of Thanksgiving feasts and chicken dinners.
He is also cheered by the fact that the turkey vultures seem to have temporarily lost his present location.
Photo by Bill Stokes