Illustration by Michael DiMilo
By Geoff Carter
We are presently living through one of the strangest times in American history. Four years ago, we survived a deadly pandemic and global lockdown. Just three years ago, a mob—instigated by a sitting president—tried to overthrow the 2020 presidential election. Our political institutions, the mainstream media, and justice system have come under unrelenting attack.
The 2024 presidential election is also unlike anything America has experienced before. Both candidates have previously served as president. Both candidates are seeking to represent a country more divided than at any time since the Civil War. Both candidates are senior citizens. Donald Trump is seventy-seven years old, and President Joe Biden is eighty-one. These are the oldest men ever to run for president.
One candidate, an ex-president, maintained—and still maintains—baseless claims that the 2020 election was stolen. He allegedly engineered the January 6th insurrection for the purpose of halting the certification of the 2020 presidential election. He is currently under dozens of felony indictments for his actions that day—for trying to steal the election. He is notorious for spewing venom and hurling insults at his opponents during his speeches, tweets, and rallies. He calls his opponents names like Crooked Hillary or Little Marco or Sleep Joe. He is a bully.
The other candidate, our sitting president, has rejuvenated a crippled economy, created jobs, and shepherded legislation for a comprehensive COVID recovery bill and infrastructure through a stubbornly recalcitrant congress, yet has a negative approval rating. He has been accused of being too old to be president, and to be sure, he does look frail. He walks slowly and carefully, he is sometimes soft-spoken and misspeaks, and stumbles occasionally.
Yet, during last week’s State of the Union address, President Biden unleashed a torrent of criticism against the Republican Senate and House for shelving his immigration bill that their Senator Lankford had written and which the party had previously endorsed. He also roundly criticized Senate Republicans for not standing up to Russian President Putin’s aggression by funding Ukraine’s war effort. He accused them of bowing down to his “predecessor” Donald Trump’s wishes. The president also berated members of the Supreme Court for overturning Roe -v- Wade, previously an almost unthinkable public criticism. He engaged in thorny exchanges with members of Congress. In short, he was being a grumpy old man—but in a good way.
They are both grumpy old men, but in very different ways and for very different reasons.
Donald Trump’s grumpiness is part of his personality, part of his political persona, and part of his marketing plan. He’s made a career out of pretending to be a tough-as-nails New York City real estate tycoon, a constructed image which has recently been exposed as the flimsiest of façades. Many know him as the host of the TV reality show The Apprentice featuring his famous (and probably favorite byline) “you’re fired”.
He insults people, he bullies them, he uses them, and he abuses them. He has been found liable for sexually assaulting E. Jean Carroll and subsequently defaming her. The ex-president was forced to pay her damages totaling over eighty million dollars. Then he defamed her again—this time to the tune of almost four hundred million dollars. Yet he continues berating anyone who offends him.
Donald Trump sort of reminds of a neighbor I once had, an old man who ranted at everything and everybody. He yelled at kids for stepping on his garden hose; he threw rocks at cats who strayed into his yard; he came to my door and screamed at me for building a fence because then he wouldn’t be able to see what was going on in my backyard. He was irrational, illogical, and eminently unlikable. I believe he just enjoyed being angry at anything that moved—or didn’t move.
Joe Biden’s grumpiness is completely different from Donald Trump’s. Most of the time, Mr. Biden reminds me more of a kindly old grandpa who treats all the neighborhood kids to ice cream whenever he can—not because he’s looking for favors or expecting anything in return, just because it’s a nice thing to do. Yet he is not a pushover or a guy to be toyed with. He’ll work with anyone for the greater good, but if you cross him or do something stupid, illegal, or immoral, he’ll let you know about it. If you do anything to hurt anyone else, he’ll let you know about it. That’s his grumpiness, an anger usually earned by being wrong or stupid.
Some believe that both these grumpy old men are too old to preside over the greatest country in the world. Fears of illness, competency, and mortality have elicited calls for younger, more vibrant candidates. But in many ways, the right grumpy old man is the best possible leader our country could have.
In many ways, seniors are invisible. We see them but barely acknowledge them. They’re not attractive, they can be difficult to understand, and sometimes they smell funny, but what they do have are troves of experience, knowledge, and wisdom. They know what can be done and what can’t, what’s possible and what’s not. And they get grumpy—maybe righteous is the better word—when they see others making mistakes that they know are wrong. President Biden knows what will happen if Russia is allowed to conquer Ukraine. Putin—like Napoleon, Hitler, and other autocrats before them, will continue to attack the innocent. President Biden knows what an advantage it will be to include immigrants into our society—the millions of Eastern Europeans, Irish, Italians, and others brought valuable gifts to this country.
Donald Trump, on the other hand, doesn’t have a clue about politics or history or compassion or the law. He cloaks himself in false patriotism (even going so far as to wrap himself in a flag on one occasion) to denigrate and attack those he regards as enemies. He is not simply grumpy, he is in fact, vindicative and hateful. Being grumpy implies a temporary state. Donald Trump’s personality is permanently angry, permanently nasty. To simply call him a grumpy old man is like calling a rabid honey badger an angry squirrel.
So, when presented a choice between two grumpy old men, consider which kind of grumpy old man we really are considering. The first, our present president, is not typically grouchy—he only goes off when there’s a reason. Most of the time he’s compassionate, empathetic, and considerate. As a leader, he actually—believe it or not—enacts policies to help the middle class.
On the other hand, the other grump is not really a grump. To call it an understatement is a misnomer. The man is a megalomaniacal menace determined to do anything to enrich himself. He is not grumpy. He is a narcissist and a sociopath. So the question this November boils down to this: do we want a stern grandpa in the White House, or do we want a cross between Ebeneezer Scrooge, wicked Uncle Ernie, and Jabba the Hut?
The choice is yours.