Kickass Finds His Way by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Ian Sane from Oregon, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, wags his cast iron tail at not being part of the keeper’s latest fiasco which should have been as simple as three old men meeting for lunch at downtown Capital Lakes. In his perpetual fog of false confidence, the keeper thought he knew exactly how to find something as big as Capital Lakes, having been there before but then only in the company of friend Harry who did the driving which had required the keeper to only follow.

Some unpleasant facts: Wrong street. Plugging several dollars into unusable meter. Lost in underground parking. Entering the lobbies of several unknown businesses. Capital Lakes building pointed out by strangers, one of whom described it as “that place where they keep old people,” Arrive at lunch with Bernie—almost 98 and Chan at 94, almost 40 minutes late, good but brief conversation, eat good lunch, unable to find car in underground parking maze, get help from security, cannot exit parking without $70 lost-ticket penalty, cry pitifully until bored remote woman opens the gate, freight train blocks entry onto causeway, as the keeper’s phone activates by the dental surgeon people who want to schedule two root canals. The keeper said he would call back.

Upside: As the youngest nonagenarian at the lunch table, the keeper excuses his blundering as youthful arrogance and may join Bernie and Chan again, but only if Harry drives.