Kickass and Defining Scum

Attribution: Scum on Lake near Palm House, Kew Gardens, London by Christine MatthewsCC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper considers the aspiring POTUS Repub candidates comparable to the line waiting in front of a port-a-potty at the country fair—their need is not for relief but for privacy in order to play with themselves.

During the last debate, however, one GOP hopeful called another “scum,” which got the keepers attention as being the first sign of honesty to emerge from the Repub lineup since George and the cherry tree.

Scum is defined as a “film of foul or extraneous matter over a liquid,” the “liquid” in this case obviously being the US drowning in billionaire sponsored floods.

In the mode of being helpful, lending a hand to the fallen as it were, the keeper suggest building on use of “scum” as it defines Repubs, and adding “bum, dumb, crumb, glum” to the party’s in-house vocabulary.

The keeper waves off applause and cheers for his efforts and puts it down as simply an attempt to bridge the chasm of misunderstanding between the left and the right. He invites others to join in, and has a promise from Phyllis that she has “sum” interest.

Photo by Bill Stokes

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