Kickass and Human Stupidity by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says it may be time to use the current bumper crop of human stupidity to revamp the game of fetch whereby it more resembles the cow chip throwing event honed each fall by the celebrating residents of Wisconsin’s Prairie du Sac.

Replacing tennis balls with a cow chips would mean dogs would no longer be doing any fetching but would instead sit quietly and observe as humans throw the cow chips at each other with winners decided on the basis of direct hits.

The event might be promoted as the “Ron Johnson Throw,” with bonus points awarded for cow chips that can be authenticated as “bull-chips.”

While Johnson’s offer to deliver the fraudulent Wisconsin electoral college votes to Washington, ranks him as among the more stupid, it by no means assures him of the “stupidest” title. That is still up for grabs and may be decided at the upcoming Repub debate in Milwaukee.

The Wisconsin State Cow Chip event for 2023 is Sept. 1 and 2. Previous events have drawn an estimated crowd of 40,000, The record chip toss is 248 feet. The keeper, following Phyllis’s advice, will not be competing due to a painful rotator cuff problem.