Adelaidasofia, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, has been advised by the keeper that the recent rampage-against-reason by the Supine Court of the US includes the long-standing right of dogs to stand on three legs while peeing on trees and fire hydrants.
Under the six/three SCOTUS decision, with the majority opinion written by Virginia Thomas, the high court’s action strikes down the standard posture of peeing dogs and decrees that henceforth they–the dogs are to be supported only on an even number of legs while leaving their territorial signatures all over the neighborhood.
The Court left in place the practice of humans collecting dog waste in plastic bags, the chief justice commenting that the waste should be saved and sent to Speaker McCarthy for use in drafting GOP legislation.
The court declined to take up an issue that would have outlawed litter boxes after intense lobbying by right wing “Federalist” cat groups.
Kickass will be giving the keeper the rest of the day off, following his–the keeper’s complaint of overexposure to narcissism.
Photo by Bill Stokes