Stupid is as Stupid Does by Geoff Carter

Artwork by Michael DiMilo

By Geoff Carter

When I was a boy, we would spend our entire summer vacations in Northern Wisconsin—Up North in the parlance—at the family cabin. My brothers and I would swim, fish, explore, and hang out with the locals who would regale us impressionable boys with all sorts of wildlife yarns, spooky tales, and fish stories. One that stuck with me was when local fishing guide Musky Jack (not his real name) told us about the time he took an Illinois tourist out fishing. The guy had never been out after musky before but was determined to land a big one. Being the skilled guide he is, Musky Jack helped the guy hook a monster musky over on Lake Tomahawk. After a long battle, the two of them got it into the boat, but before Jack could gaff it, the Illinois tourist whipped out his automatic and shot the fish three times. Of course, it hadn’t occurred to him (in the excitement of the moment or in his walnut-sized brain) that shooting holes in a boat wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Jack got them to the pier before they sank, but the tourist—besides having to pay for the damage—was completely and utterly mortified. He slunk out of town with his tail tucked so far between his legs, he never saw it again.

I’ve heard a number of variations of this story since. One of my brothers-in-law insists he saw it in an Elmer Fudd cartoon, which is very possible. It’s a very Fudd-like thing to do. My other brother-in-law thought he had heard about it happening in another part of the state, but its universality should be no surprise; it’s urban (rural?) legend material. Shooting a hole in your own boat is a sublimely stupid act—it does resonate.

Not surprisingly, vibrations of a very similar sort of coming out of The House of Representatives in Washington, D.C. House Republicans, led by straw man Kevin McCarthy but controlled by the far-right Freedom Caucus, which is helmed by intellectual luminaries like Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, and Marjory Taylor Green, high priestess to knuckle-draggers and MAGAsauruses everywhere.

To become Speaker of the House, McCarthy made a deal with these devils, vowing to pursue a course of incredibly vacuous and unpopular policies including deep cuts to social programs like Medicaid, SNAP, and Social Security; they also support a national ban on abortion. Most of these far-right representatives voted against certifying President Biden’s win in the last presidential election. Other Republicans have labelled them as “lemmings with suicide vests” The Economist.

Members of the South Carolina Freedom Caucus have supported a bill, maintaining “Women who get abortions in South Carolina could face the death penalty under a bill supported heavily by the House Freedom Caucus.” Yahoo News. Another popular and humanitarian stand.

Do these proposals reflect the will of the American people? No. According to Pew Research, 61% of Americans state abortion should be legal. According to You Gov, 89% of Americans receiving Social Security support. Only 11% think its funding should be reduced.

Freedom Caucus member and Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert—who never met a gun she didn’t like—has, according to a report in Yahoo News , said “A recent report states that Americans own 46% of the world’s guns. I think we need to get our numbers up, boys and girls.” She has also co-sponsored a bill proposing that the AR-15 be declared the “national gun of the U.S.” (The Denver Post). Of course, this is the weapon that has been used in the mass murders of children at Sandy Hook, Uvalde, and many, many other locations. According to a Fox New Poll as reported in Axios, 87% of Americans favor background checks for gun purchases, 81% favor raising the legal age to buy guns to 21, and 61% support banning assault rifles and semi-automatic weapons.

So, it looks as if the Freedom Caucus might not really understand that they are in office to represent the people, their constituents. In fact, they seem to be determined to ignore the people. They are defying the American people and taking dramatically opposed—even hostile—positions from voters. It may be argued that they come from conservative districts that do support right-leaning policies, but if 87% of all Americans are in favor of a policy, chances are even the most conservative district is probably against it, too. Taking stands like these reminds me of the guy taking the first couple shots at the musky in his boat. Not the smartest move.

Now these reps are taking aim at the musky again. The Freedom Caucus, which has Speaker McCarthy in its thrall, is refusing to raise the debt ceiling until the White House and Democrats agree to institute the cruel and draconian measures in the Republican spending bill. Failure to raise the debt ceiling by the June 1^st deadline could result in economic disaster for the U.S. and the world.

According to a report from The White House, “according to Moody’s, even a short debt limit breach could lead to a decline in real GDP, nearly 2 million lost jobs, and an increase in the unemployment rate to nearly 5 percent from its current level of 3.5 percent.” Savings and retirement funds would be depleted, interest rates would soar, and a major recession might even occur.

About thirty of these Freedom Caucus members, these “representatives”, are holding the American economy hostage in order to further their own twisted vision of what America should be. To them, that includes depriving the poor, cutting military spending, and slashing Medicaid to the needy. Some members believe more Americans should be armed and that the weapon responsible for hundreds of civilian deaths—including those of schoolchildren—should receive recognition as a national icon. Beautiful.

But by sabotaging the economy, won’t these Freedom Caucus “representatives” be taking their third shot at the musky in the bottom of the boat? If they tank the economy, what will happen to the deep pockets of their special interest sponsors? Will Tom Tiffany still be able to collect donations from Uline, Inc.? Will Lauren still be able to collect from the NRA? Or will the next shot at the musky pass right through her own left foot before putting another hole in the bottom of the boat?

When their boat sinks, as it inevitably will, the Freedom Caucus will sink with it. Their chronic and profound unpopularity won’t endure. American voters have been fooled, but they will only be hoodwinked for so long. The draconian and cruel measures supported by these thirty monsters will not be tolerated.

Maybe these people don’t want long careers in politics. Maybe they simply want to create a brand, to ensure their popularity. It’s obvious they care nothing about anything else, but if they’re dumb enough to deliberately sink their own ship, they get only what they deserve. I only hope they don’t take everyone else down with them.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

By Geoff Carter

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By Geoff Carter

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