OILKLEEN, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, has some doubts about the keeper’s plan to have all vehicles identified with large display numbers that reflect the age of the driver. His–the keeper’s thinking being that as he is increasingly deferred to as an ancient pedestrian, that considered treatment would carry over to his driving whereby other drivers, noting the very large number on the side of his vehicle would not only give him a lot of space at roundabouts and stop signs, but might even pull over and park until the keeper has driven out of sight.
The vehicle driver numbering system would also serve to identify teenage drivers who could be given the same wide berth as those in the keeper’s age group, but for different reasons.
Further refinement could see the addition of “F” and “M” to the displayed vehicle numbers indicating driver gender, which would allow a car-chasing dog to tell his friends “I chased a ‘F-75’ for three miles today,” and would encourage the reporting of drag-racing old ladies and stick-shifting old men.
There are obviously refinements to be worked out, but can there be any doubt that if the gender and age of all drivers was immediately known on the scene it would be a different traffic situation out there?
(The keeper will be out on Mineral Point Road briefly today. Look for number…….Oh never mind, he is likely lying about his age.)
Photo by Bill Stokes