Antonio, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has in hand a top- secret document from the Department of Interior that outlines the following:
*Preliminary study shows a crossover of the mysterious human brain malfunction of denying reality–“DR” to several bird species causing them to fly north instead of south in the current fall migration.
*Alarmed experts predict that the birds, attempting to follow a seriously afflicted misdirected leader, will end up in Antarctica instead of South America where they will “freeze their little feathered asses” in the words of a leading ornithologist.
*The widespread incidence of the “denying-reality” condition among humans is blamed on the mysterious reversal of evolution in which a species gets dumber instead of smarter.
*In the event that DR crosses over to domestic animals, cats will replace dogs in the game of fetch, and dogs will use cat trees to mark territory in lieu of being taken for a walk.
*Denial of reality is thought to be related to global warming which causes the human brain to swell until it no longer fits in the skull.
*DR can be fatal, to humans and to migrating birds.
