Hal 0005, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, endorses the keeper’s notification to the Department of Wisconsin Weather:
“So, just what the hell was that all about–that mid-October snow for no good reason other than to flex your cold muscles and exercise your contrary nature?
“By now you know that many of us can neither migrate nor hibernate so we are at your mercy for the long, dark days and nights ahead; and your little October snow fit was offensive and needless, like an old, dominant dog marking its territory.
“We’ve been around here long enough to know what you have in store, and we are as ready as we usually are–supplied with snow and ice tools and medicinal brandy; and we do not need to be tormented by your premature sniffing around: We haven’t even celebrated Halloween yet!
“Get lost, you blustering blizzard addict–until Dec. 25 or so, or we will sic global warming on you and make you whine like a leashed puppy at a July picnic.”
