Sumeet Moghe, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper is participating in the project to activate Wisconsin’s mascot–the badger, which is related to the African honey badger whose predacious hunting technique is to grab the face of its prey in its jaws and then claw out its guts.
The threat of such an unpleasant fate may be the only way to save Wisconsin from itself as it offers the state up for sale as a toy for a rich Pa industrialist and entertains the possibility of reelecting a rich in-law-made senator who wants to make bedroom decisions for Wisconsin women and believes in the orange tooth fairy.
It should be enough that the reclusive Wisconsin badger sticks its head up out its burrow, notes the gerrymandered status of the state’s minority-representative government and screams, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
Maybe there is some help to be had from the Wisconsin state bird, the robin, that has already left the state for warmer environs, but has agreed to translate its familiar “Cheer up” song to “Beer up” just for Wisconsin.
