Photo by Bill Stokes
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, cannot help but be impressed by the fact that, even at his advanced age, the keeper has learned something as basic as how to get into his car without knocking his hat off. It is as absurd as it sounds, but several weeks ago the keeper accidentally discovered that if he stuck his head inside the car before settling his rear end into the driver’s seat, his hat would not be disturbed, thus eliminating a long-standing annoyance.
It took some time for this development to register as something he had learned, but once it did, the keeper went into a celebratory mode: he had learned that his life had been improved by a somewhat altered version of the old “ass over teakettle” cliché—“ass after head.”
In a fit of exuberance, the keeper asked Phyllis to witness his new method of getting into the car without knocking his hat off, and while she nodded her approval, she did not seem as excited as the keeper thought she could have been.
Maybe, like all learning, the head-first thing is personal, like learning to stand up slowly, since, if you stand up quickly at the keeper’s age, there is a good chance you might fall on your ass.
