Dominoe3045, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is doing his best to assist the keeper in his campaign to bring chickens into a more respectable role in the scheme of things by promoting the concept of “companion chickens” as in the companion dog mode.
Having so far been denied permission to keep a small flock of chickens on the balcony of the apartment he shares with Phyllis at Vista West, the keeper has defiantly ordered delivery of chickens which he will offer to others as companions in this time of emotional chaos.
It is his thinking that once the landscape is replete with people whose lives have been made stable and meaningful by the close proximity of a chicken, the world will be a better place. As a means of quality control, only hens will be available as companion chickens, roosters having demonstrated their unfitness for anything beyond inappropriate crowing.
In a preliminary move Colonel Sanders will be demoted to Corporal; and KFC outlets will henceforth be known as “Kingdoms For Chickens,”which is not to be taken as a description for a country under the spell of gerrymandered rich narcissists.
Call the keeper for delivery of your personal companion chicken. If Phyllis answers, hang up and try again later.
