Official U.S. Navy Page, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Featuring the Fabulous Dadbots: Mark M., Mark O., Dave S., Paul Carter, Dennis Curley, and Geoff Carter
Fellow Bots,
I visited the Experimental Aircraft Association (EAA) festival in Oshkosh last weekend. I have a few observations to share. But first, I have to relate that my teeth were set on edge as I entered the grounds and learned that I was attending the EAA “AirVenture”.
I have to say, some of those phony combined words really irritate me. AirVenture! Somehow, it tries a bit too hard to make the EAA convention seem like an “adventure”. I mean, if you consider State Fair to be an “adventure”, you might be convinced that EAA is one. And the word has another massive drawback, in that no normal person who is not an EAA public relations flack has ever used the word. ‘Pack up the kids, Shirley, we’re going to the air show at the AirVenture!” I don’t think so.
It turns out that there’s a term for these combined words: “portmanteau” words. Portmanteau is French for suitcase, so we are packing multiple words– with separate meanings—into a single new word.
Some portmanteaus are clever and colorful. The very best examples combine disparate meanings into a single, new, readily recognizable meaning.
- Sext
- Romcom
- Braniac
- Mansplain
And there are other words so well combined, and in use for so long, that we don’t even realize they are portmanteaus:
- Smog (smoke + fog)
- Stash (store + cache)
- Motel (motor + hotel)
- Splatter (splash + spatter)
That last example, “splatter”, has essentially replaced “spatter” in modern English.
But, unfortunately, the spread of online culture has created a permission structure for the synthesis of all manner of noxious combinations. Most of the tech portmanteaus are pretty useful: blog, pixel, bionic, email, malware. But the practice has expanded beyond the tech context, and the results can be grotesque:
- Staycation
- Imagineer (this is a wholly owned Disney concept, I believe)
- Athleisure
- Chillax
The worst portmanteaus, like “AirVenture”, are those that try too hard.
On to my EAA experience. I know virtually nothing about aviation, so this was in some ways a foreign world for me. But I have to say that there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot that is “experimental” about the EAA. “Commercial” and “military” might be better adjectives. The majority of the large outdoor exhibition space is occupied by various manufacturers of small planes and jets. There were hundreds of really cool, shiny, next generation planes on display by the various sellers, and we were able to get up close to (and sometimes even touch) them. The larger manufacturers provided souvenir shops where one could purchase all manner of swag, from jackets to coffee mugs to keychains. I wasn’t able to work up a close enough personal identification to any of these brands to actually dig into my wallet.
EAA also features several large exhibit halls filled with vendors of all stripes. Most of the vendors had some, at a minimum tenuous, connection to aviation, but this was not the case for the outfit selling the vibrating exercise platform, endorsed by Doctors Oz and Mercola (he of vax denier fame). These gadgets are the equivalent of the old school 1960s rubber band machines that would wiggle your fat back and forth into oblivion.
We were about to leave in the early afternoon, but the crowds pouring in alerted us to the impending air show, so we stayed on. The primary highlight was the multiple fly-bys of various military jets—the F-35, the F-18, the A-10 Warthog, and a few WWII fighters. The jets are incredibly fast but most of all LOUD. Really, some of the loudest noises I have ever heard! I learned what an “afterburner” is—the jet dumps jet fuel into the exhaust stream of the jet engines—”after” the turbines—thus temporarily increasing speed and thrust (and noise!).
The commentary accompanying the jet flyovers was, you won’t be surprised to learn, insipid and jingoistic. We were supposed to feel some kind of love for the hallowed traditions of naval aviation, as the F-18 and F-35 accompanied a WWII era Corsair buzzing the crowed. I tried, but I just wasn’t feeling it. The Kid Rock and Lenny Kravitz soundtrack didn’t help—but thanks for your service, Navy fliers!
Ultimately, the EAA is a corporate/military circle jerk. Every printed and spoken word praises the contributions of aviation to our world, our culture, and of course, our national pride. It is well organized, and I enjoyed it immensely, but I don’t think I need to go back again.
-Mark
Amen to that Mark!
Particularly, in regard to the glorification of military aviation. Growing up I always had a love of aircraft, especially fighter aircraft.
Now, like so many other things, this basic attraction to these cool machines, and the people who fly them, has been co-opted by commercialism and right-wing chest beating.
Still, some of my youthful love alive though, when I remember that Adam Kinzinger is a F-16 pilot.
–Paul
Wow: Great report Mark. … covering (2) subjects. Couldn’t agree more. I’ve known many to attend EAA but never have myself. Maybe next year with a pre-enlightened snicker/jaundiced eye…or maybe never.
Re Suitcase words: yeah so many these days… I’ll add one: Glamping: (luxe… (glamorous) camping (gear). Oh, and that ‘60s flab removal belt image, battering some sloshing buttocks, ….so rich to recall.
Acceptance of military might is something I’ve struggled with over time. For many it is pure jingoism (born into a military family and total buy in), for others it is a sickening disdain for nationalism and guilt (the college years—and there are plenty of atrocities to cement this attitude—William Calley, My Lai massacre…oodles more). Unfortunately there is no World Governance, so whether the times are medieval or nuclear age, fiefdom (resource) protection, let alone bad actors—(“you only need to witness one machete village annihilation to get on board with a strong military…”)– fiefs must not only have the tech, (defense budgets), but also frequently rev up the promotional machines, (circle jerk as you state), such that plenty of young men and women are properly trained to send into harm’s way.
-Dave.
Ah, Mark, you warm my wordsmithing heart. I’m with you on the grotesqueries of new portmanteaus “imagineer” and “athleisure”, but we can’t forget the unnatural splicing of celebrity couple names like “Bennifer” or “Bradgelina” or the truly idiotic “TomKat”. Or “Bollywood” and “Dollywood”. As you point out, some of these splices (grafts? transplants?) have become commonly used parts of the language, like:
- Velcro
- prequel
- sitcom
- Brexit
- Obamacare
- electrocute
And, of course, there are the fabulous linguistic acrobatics of the “f” bomb which have become more and more common:
- In-fucking-credible
- Im-fucking-possible
- Mindfuck
- Dumbfuck
- Fuckhead
It’s interesting to look back at one of the greatest of all “imagineers”, William Shakespeare, who invented dozens of words, including
- Barefaced
- Lonely
- Uncomfortable
- Ill-used
- Long-Legged
- Upstairs and downstairs (portmanteau?), and more.
Here’s a link to an article with that list (listicle—which is not a leaning testicle)
https://thehistoryofengland.co.uk/resource/words-shakespeare-invented/
Who knows what the fuck our grandkids will be saying? Will it be like a rerun of A Clockwork Orange? Who knows, my little droogies. Who knows?
Geoff
Sounds like Markmam had a fantabulous, funbelievable air-sperience at the EAA Airventure. I imagine a head honcho at the EAA proudly came up with the portmanteau “Airsperience” and no one on the staff had the temerity to leak (lackey-speak) their inner cringyvoice. Except for that Steve guy in Accounting—who no one really talks about anymore.
Remember when the EAA thing was called the “EAA Fly-In”? In a clever linguistic juxtaposition (though not quite a “porrmanteau”), Wit-sconites nicknamed it the “Die-In” because so many guys who built experimental planes in their garages with old lawnmower parts and duct tape crashed them and died at the EAA. Maybe that’s why the boss felt a rebranding was in order.
Markmam might remember our high school Aeroshop teacher, Mr Teschendorf. He flew a plane built by his students at the EAA “Die-In” back in the ’70’s. Within minutes of take-off from the EAA runway, the wings ripped off the fuselage and the plane plummetted to earth. Mr. Teschendorf, unfortunately, did not survive the crash. Man, it was cool and all that he trusted his students to such a degree, but damn…
Seems like the Airperience people are putting all that behind them and are now flying a safer course with corporate sponsorship, military hoopla, and flab-o-belt and veg-o-matic demonstrations. Fan-fucking-tastic… Weird—”fan-fucking-tastic” works, but “fantas-fucking-tic” falls short. Hmmm, I shall ponder that over brunch.
–Dennis
Thinking about the fascination with military aircraft and the mythos of soldiering in my youth, including burning bullet holes into plastic B-17 models with a hot awl and assassinating GI Joe Action Figures, and—the mythologizing of life during wartime (who didn’t play army, watch Combat, The Rat Patrol, or 12 O’Clock High?), I think we’re lucky to have overcome this insidious propaganda. There’s a story that John Wayne went to speak to a group of wounded Marines somewhere in the Pacific theater. Seeing the man who had brought them The Sands of Iwo Jima and countless other bullshit Hollywood war epics, they booed him off the stage.
I don’t know if the Vietnam protests instilled the realities of war into us, or whether it was the TV coverage of that war, but we were lucky to have dodged that bullet—sorry about the pun. I like to think that this generation has gotten smarter, but I think the first-person shooter video games are even worse than when we played Army as kids. At least we had some social interaction:
“I got you!”
“No way. You only grazed me.”
I don’t want to see anyone else hoodwinked into becoming cannon fodder for the rich and powerful. The military-industrial complex that Eisenhower spoke of was, I think, in full attendance at the EAA AirVenture, or maybe as we should call it, the EAA AirCruiment.
-Geoff