Judgefloro, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, supports the keeper’s efforts to help dedicate this 4th of July to the women of the country by adding another gender designation to those already existing; that being “EDNAS” or “Erectile Disfunction in the Narcissistic Application of Stupidity.”
With the Supreme Court promoting the “EDNAS’” perverted lifestyle, the keeper suggests tying 4th of July fireworks to the issue; and decreeing that each time a firecracker or fireworks device explodes, it is interpreted as the sound of a distraught woman banging something heavy down on an EDNAS’ private parts.
Assuming application of the keeper’s EDNAS plan, the ubiquitous and annoying weekend of celebratory explosions could take on new significance, especially for women: “BANG!”—Another unconscionable EDNAS gets his gonads smashed!
It is the keeper’s thinking that attaching some social definition to the otherwise senseless fireworks pervasiveness of the weekend will make it more tolerable for dogs and woman. He—the keeper knows that now when he hears a firecracker, he will think of an EDNAS’ painful accountability, and he will smile.
