Oregon State University, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is aware, along with the keeper, that one of life’s important lessons is the ability to handle rejection; but when it is consistently handed out by a fungus, changes need to be made: hence this May, the keeper announces that he will not be stumbling around in the woods in a futile hunt for morel mushrooms.
While he does not have video to prove it, the keeper is sure that once he attempts to flush out morels, they develop the ability to move into hiding, not unlike the ruffed grouse he once hunted with the help of an unruly springer spaniel named Doc. (If there exists a dog that could flush out morels, the keeper would have had one years ago.)
Under his new Morels-in-May plan, the keeper will be ignoring the well-meaning advice of the likes of Jerry Davis who can apparently find morels on the Main Street of Barneveld, and he—the keeper will instead be taking wild-flower walks in the woods with Phyllis in the hopes of spotting the elusive trillium.
The chances for trillium success are high, and though you cannot, or should not, fry up trilliums in butter and as an addendum to breakfast, the issue of morel rejection has been dealt with; and though the keeper should feel good about that, there is the lingering feeling that he has been had—by a fungus—again!
