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By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, in his relentless efforts to be helpful, lists a few tips for surviving the high winds predicted for today and tomorrow:
One. Stay inside with the cats and look out at people walking their dogs, some of which–the lighter breeds, will be periodically airborne.
Two. If your hat gets blown off—as the keeper’s frequently does, express profuse appreciation to the hat retriever who gets a certain personal satisfaction from assisting an old man who should not be out in a wind that gusts high enough to blow him and his specially pinned hat away.
Three. Be ready with a response for those who say, “Windy enough for ya?” Suggestion is: “No, I’m a Republican/Democrat and I love wind.”
Four. Think about Aunt Em’s house sailing up into the sky with Dorothy and Toto aboard; and thank your lucky stars you are not in Kansas anymore, or Texas or Florida.
Five. Consider the wind as the Almighty’s vacuum cleaner sucking truth and fact debris out of your area and depositing it in the yard of the neighbor who gets his information from Fox.
Six. Blow kisses to the wind: there is a great need for them, accompanied by hugs, of course!
