Varghese K James, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper is in one of his dilemmas of despair as he attempts to adjust his life to accommodate the guidance of Repub deep thinkers who, under a proposed Perdue Poultry Act, are drafting protection for chicken eggs as “unborn leghorns,” thus prohibiting egg consumption and threatening the sanctity of the keeper’s traditional breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
Just when the keeper had dealt with the Repub’s demand that any semblance of intelligent teaching be removed from the schools, they come with this new challenge. (The keeper’s solution to the Repub’s dumbing down of the schools is to issue every student a pet goat to aid in the training of future Repub citizens.)
As the Repubs make it increasingly difficult for more and more people to vote, and much easier for anyone to carry a gun, the keeper tries to adjust to these actions by thinking of his polling place as a deer stand where he has a long history of prolonged, useless waiting.
The Repubs do not make it easy to adjust to their machinations, but the keeper claims to be doing his best: If he can replace his long-standing farm breakfast of bacon and eggs with Frosted Flakes, anything is possible.
(In a bow to the flow of current “news,” The keeper will not be walking any of this statement back, nor will he be slapping anyone’s face, unless, of course, they insult Phyllis.)
