Jongsun Lee, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that once again it has fallen to the keeper to intercept some of the communications from unusual sources, most recently the petition from the robins, now flocking back into the state by the thousands from southern environs, which demands that Robin Vos, the gerrymandered narcissistic legislator, change his first name to some other bird since his—Vos’s dictatorial machinations besmirch the friendly identity of robins.
“Vulture Vos” was suggested, after the sparrows, pausing in their traditional dietary quest for horse manure, expressed outrage at the idea of a “Sparrow Vos;” Likewise the starlings and the pigeons, all of whom said they would sooner be associated with the outrageously gobbling Johnson Turkey than have anything to do with Vos.
As Wisconsin’s official bird, the robins express concern that their association with Vos may mean a recount in the original state bird selection process, to the point that Repubs will insist that the winning bird was actually Icarus, and he is—this very minute–flying toward the sun with a suicidal flight plan from Goose Gableman.
Icarus’s melting wings and his subsequent crash to earth are symbolic of Wisconsin descent from innovative respectability and decency to—under the Repubs, becoming the subject of national ridicule and residential shame.
Icarus Vos!
Now all the robins can go lay their blue eggs, and sing “cheer-up” for the keeper and his ilk as they try to enjoy the coming summer mornings as much as possible in a world gone utterly mad.
