Kickass and St. Pat’s Commentary


Tasha Carl
CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, cautions the keeper to be careful with St. Patrick’s Day comments, considering the trouble he once caused by writing in a Chicago Tribune column that he and many others were tired of stumbling over drunken Irishmen passed out on the sidewalks on March 17.  

A green tsunami of outrage ensued, with threats to throw the keeper in the green Chicago River, and at the very least to send him back up north to his questionable predecessors; some of whom he claimed were of Irish descent, which did not serve to quell the uprising.

A WBBM radio commentator named Madigan was particularly incensed and devoted an entire program to demanding that the keeper apologize for his column transgression.

The keeper did not think of it at the time, but he should have made an appeal to the Patron Saint of dogs “Roch” or Rocco, who, back in the 1300’s, was noted for licking wounds and bringing bread to victims of the plague; which seems to the keeper a more worthwhile deed than driving the snakes out of Ireland, but this may not be the day to make that case, considering the keeper’s St. Patrick’s Day commentating history.

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