Photo: Myrabella / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, has lent his special communications powers to the keeper as he—the keeper intercepts messages from the Russian oligarch who is buying Wisconsin as a location for his “up-nort” retreat.
Obviously heavily influenced by the recent “60-Minutes” portrayal of Wisconsin as helplessly under the control of gerrymandered narcissistic clowns who have sold their own grandmas into a world of indecency, political porn and national shame; the oligarch’s Wisconsin plans call for digging a canal from Milwaukee to Madison to float his 500-foot yacht on Lake Mendota which will give him an unobstructed view of the Capitol building which he intends to convert into a coop to facilitate his hobby of raising personalized turkeys with names like Vos, Johnson, Tiffany, Gableman, Prehn, and many other Repub truth deniers.
The oligarch’s yacht will have deck-mounted cannons for use in the forthcoming war with Verona and Sun Prairie the homes of many working stiffs and honorable people.
The keeper returns the special communication powers back to Kickass, who will be using them to send messages for all dogs to take cover or be destroyed by the humans’ inability to share the planet.
