Gustave Doré , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, given his combined real-virtual status, is eminently qualified to assist the keeper with his project of applying the precepts of fantasy sports to history, thereby making it not only possible but entertaining to deny the slaughter of Native Americans, the existence of slavery and the Holocaust.
It is the keeper’s hope that Fantasy History will lessen the political divisiveness by making it possible for the hopelessly stupid dunderheads and those with at least enough intelligence to “to pour piss out of a boot” to share each other’s company without resorting to violence.
The players of Fantasy History could trade such things as Fox News for the Congressional Record, or the Second Amendment for NRA bull-crap, or Tucker for Rachel, which might require an option on Hannity.
Fantasy History could also be played on a personal level, making it possible to deny having done totally stupid things, even in the face of official documentation—arrest records and court orders, and the memories of offended parties.
As an opening gambit, the keeper is teaming up to play Fantasy History with Phyllis; and he hereby offers the two of them as the ultimate authority on how to play the game over the long haul without going absolutely bat-crap crazy.
