Photo by Vincent Guth on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports on the keeper’s discovery that next Monday’s rare display of the aurora borealis, which will be visible as far south as Wisconsin and New York, will include colorful indicators of the truth, heretofore denied to vast numbers of the populace who believe that if you stare at the aurora borealis you will not only lose your libido but also catch Covid 19 from your stupid unvaccinated brother-in-law.
To identify the truth in the Monday geomagnetic storm display, the keeper says to look between 9 pm and 3 am for red, pink or blue peppering of the green aurora ribbons, and if you actually see the truth, for god’s sake, call your uncle in Florida and tell your neighbor to take down his “MAGA” yard sign.
Unfortunately, the truth indicators will not be visible in the District of Columbia or in many state capitals where a dense cloud-cover of narcissism and greed will prevail.
The keeper plans to nap through the whole damn thing, unless he gets word that Mitch McConnell might be “beamed up” by little blue specks of borealis truth, in which case he—the keeper, will uncork champagne.
