Artwork by Michael DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes on a story from the keeper:
Johnson, Vos and Gableman walk into a bar, and the bartender asks for their order.
Johnson requests an “old fashioned with muddled tax breaks for the rich.”
Vos asks for “beer in a securely covered stein to prevent the public from drinking any of it.”
Gableman orders up, “Whine wine bottled the year he lied his way onto the state’s so called supreme court.”
“Well, gentlemen,” the bartender says, “I’m running a sting operation here and you all three are under arrest for DWI—Driving Wisconsinites Insane.”
Johnson, Vos and Gableman try to make a break for it and run toward the door, but it has been nailed shut by a crew of gerrymandered carpenters using the big hammers of decency, compassion and accountability.
Suddenly, Dorothy appears and pours voters’ water on Johnson, Vos and Gableman, and they melt into little pools of contaminated lobby liquid.
The bartender mops them up with a MAGA bar-rag.
End of story.
Ho, brother and amen!