Photo by Mary Gorski
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is assisting the keeper in bringing weather forecasting into the current century and offers the following Friday the 13th example:
*Temperatures and tempers will remain at dangerously high levels as the jet scream of ignorance continues to dominate across the nation.
*A severe pillow fight storm warning has been issued for portions of many southern states where pillow cases are reforming to become tornado-shaped headgear under the direction of Lindell-Trump Clan seamstresses.
*A topical storm is forming near Cuba, and expected to make landfall in Afghanistan, Iran and Tallahassee, Florida where it will cause leaders to assume unusual twisted postures whereby their heads are inserted into bodily orifices.
*As the full impact of Friday the 13th is brought to bear on the long-term weather outlook, expect to experience severe outbreaks of record-breaking ignorance accompanied by prolonged spells of thunderous rumbling caused by sheer Republican bullshit winds.
*A flash flood warning has been issued in much of the country where the Repub’s “trickle down” system has morphed into a pee-on-the-poor series of category five storms.
*Friday the 13th will be followed by Saturday the 14th and Sunday the 15th and on and on when everything will pretty much stay the same, except the rain will turn to snow, it will get colder than hell, and a freak storm in Madison, Wis. will drench everything with brandy old fashioneds.
