Willy Stöwer, died on 31st May 1931, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in acknowledging that they are passengers on the Planet Titanic and it has been steered into the galactic iceberg by greedy narcissists; and the only way out is to jump overboard, which the keeper and Phyllis are not ready to do despite their being in a qualifying age group: there are some things that they want to help with before their final dive over the railing.
*In the interests of improving the gene pool, a permanent fence must be immediately erected around Sturgis SD to impound the million or so covid-spreading motorcyclists until they get too old to reproduce.
*In Texas where the governor is killing school children and the elderly to further his career, a move to encourage political neutering must be moved higher on the family planning program than rules allowing men to regulate women’s bodies.
*In Florida where it is deemed patriotic to get sick and die even if it could be avoided with a vaccine, there needs to be a posthumans awards program for the benefit of survivors, if there are any.
*As soon as California is completely consumed by raging fires, it should be converted into a landfill for the disposal of hi-tech devices that drive the elderly crazy and are outdated while still bubble wrapped.
*In Wash. DC and state capitals around the country where Repubs are making it illegal to give drinking water to thirsty voters, the Dems need to set up lemonade stands and spike things up with a little vodka or gin.
In the meantime, the keeper and Phyllis listen to the music playing up on the tilting Planet Titanic deck, and rather than bemoan their fate, they opt to get up and dance as the derelict captain and crew run for the lifeboats while shouting: “We’re not sinking! We’re not sinking!”
Dems leaving lemonaid, would that be half lemonaid and half Sprite ?