Artwork by Michael DiMilo Article by Geoff Carter Our nation just celebrated The Fourth of July. Any American can—hopefully—tell you what this holiday is all about. On July 4, 1776, the Second Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence, severing all American ties with Great Britain. The founding fathers were sick of being taxed and …
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Month:July 2021
Kickass Takes a River Break
TheUnseen011101, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis will be taking their show on the road with a brief tour of Mississippi River environs in the Lacrosse area, with no more serious purpose than to check out the incredible Mayfly hatch, take a river …
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Kickass and the Minimum Dumbness Plan
Robin Vos Lehnmat, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is trying to assist the keeper in formulating a “Minimum Dumbness Program” (MDP) whereby individuals are prevented by law from reaching a level of dumbness in which they think they are getting a fair shake in a government owned by …
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Kickass and Returning to the Sea
Royalbroil, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper along the Wisconsin River and other waterways on the brink of summer to plead for active acknowledgment that since the human species came crawling out of the sea, there is really only one way for it to return permanently …
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The Couch Potato’s Guide to the Best of the Best: The Films of Steven Spielberg
Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Spielberg is the man. He’s a legend. He’s a franchise. As a director, he’s personified the Hollywood gold standard since 1975, the year of the first ever summer blockbuster, Jaws. As an artist, he’s written and directed films that examine myriad manifestations …
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Kickass and Alien 4th of July
Erik Drost, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper is in receipt of a decoded message from outer space that reads as follows: “The entire population of that Earth country claiming to be among the most enlightened, once again gathered in the first darkness of an …
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Kickass and Fireworks Downside
Photo by Kristian Løvstad on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper recalls the 4th of July when, as a Trib columnist, he wrote that fireworks had a downside and were maybe not the greatest symbol of independence celebrating. Chicago readers reacted predictably with nasty letters to the editor demanding that the keeper be run …
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Kickass and VA Sleep Lab
Gabriel Vanslette, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the VA, in its thoroughness of monitoring how the keeper lives, recently looked into how he sleeps. Details are yet to come, but the wired-up night in the VA sleep lab impressed the keeper yet again with the dedication of …
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Kickass and Dumb Bear Hounders
Jim Bowen, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper hates it when he must admit being wrong—as infrequently as it happens, but after naming the election of Ron Johnson and the temporary establishment of dog racing tracks as the dumbest things to happen in Wisconsin, he …
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Kickass and Dumb Dog Racing
Matt Schumitz, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, in his efforts to catalog the utterly stupid things done by Wisconsin citizens, now claims that electing Ron Johnson to two terms as US senator now outranks the sheer dumbness of creating five very expensive and ridiculous dog-racing facilities back in …
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Uncomfortably Numb
Artwork by Michael DiMilo By Geoff Carter Something woke me up in the middle of the night last week. I lay in bed, dumb with sleep, trying to figure out what it was. And then my phone pinged me from the nightstand. Again. And then again. And then again. It was trying to tell me …
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