Uncomfortably Numb

Artwork by Michael DiMilo

By Geoff Carter

Something woke me up in the middle of the night last week. I lay in bed, dumb with sleep, trying to figure out what it was. And then my phone pinged me from the nightstand. Again. And then again. And then again. It was trying to tell me something—but then it always is. I rolled over and went back to sleep. 

I subscribed to the Nextdoor app on my smartphone a couple of years ago. It’s a combination neighborhood watch, want ad section, and bulletin board program open to local users. In the past few weeks, I’ve seen flurries of posts like “Did anyone hear gunshots on Chambers and Booth about an hour ago?” or “What were those loud banging noises in Gordon Park last night?” There have also been alarming video posts of porch pirates walking away with packages, would-be thieves trying to break into cars, along with the more benign lost pet and found key notices.

I also subscribe to another app called Newsbreak which posts—you guessed it—breaking news. The notification setting of this app is turned on so I can be instantly informed on the latest developments in the Aaron Rodgers drama, Supreme Court decisions, or the newest Kim Kardashian scandal. I guess it’s all news. Unfortunately—again as of late—there has been an epidemic of local posts about police chases, car crashes, and hit and runs. Every other notice also seems to involve a shooting. It seems as if headlines like “21-year-old shot…”, “Police investigate fatal shooting…”, and “Hit and run driver sentenced…” are coming up nine or ten times daily. It’s hard to keep an accurate count. Of course, this is probably only a slanted perception of the real situation. There can’t really be that many. Or can there?

According to CBS 58 TV in Milwaukee (CBS 58 News), as of June 13th, 2021, there have been 368 non-fatal shootings in Milwaukee as compared to 211 last year. That’s a 57% rise over one of the most violent years in this city’s history. Water Street, the downtown center of the city’s nightlife, has been plagued by a number of violent incidents over the past month. Shootings, assaults, and unruly crowds have prompted several bars to shutter early and the city to impose parking restrictions in some hotspots. Some city officials have proposed raising drawbridges to restrict access to the area at night. Reckless driving in the area—and everywhere else—has  also been a concern. 

According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Online, (JSOnline) traffic deaths are up about 19% from last year. Many of these deaths have been attributed to teenagers as young as twelve stealing cars (particularly KIAs and Hyundais) and going for joyrides. According to MPD statistics, vehicle thefts in Milwaukee number 4,572, up 186% from last year. So, no—I am not suffering from an overdose of information. I am simply getting immune to it.

It’s gotten to a point that when I look at posts about gunshots, accidents, fatalities, or life-threatening injuries, I find myself moving on; it’s impossible to assimilate it all. There’s nothing new about this sort of apathy (although there’s nothing right about it, either). As a nation, we’ve absorbed the initial shock of tragedies like Columbine, Sandy Hook, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, Las Vegas, Aurora, the Tree of Life Synagogue, the Pulse Nightclub—and God knows how many more gun massacres—and moved on. We’ve become numb; these events have become the norm. We are shocked and appalled at first hearing the news, but, within a few days, these events fade into the culture of horror and carnage that has become the backdrop of our daily lives. The constant violence—especially gun violence—has numbed our national conscience. 

No sensible person wants this. Surveys show that a vast majority of Americans—up to 85%–support universal background checks, but Congress, locked in the grip of the NRA lobby and dark money, refuses to implement the will of the people to create safer streets and schools for ourselves and our children. Perpetrators of other crimes, including car theft and reckless driving, have been linked to low-income populations. According to the CATO Institute, 77% of those surveyed also feel that government efforts to fight poverty have been ineffective. Most support stronger programs to fight the root sources of poverty. In short, as a nation we recognize these problems and show a real desire to solve them but faced with a chronic and cynical inability—and refusal—of our government representatives to do anything about them, we live with the problem. We become numb. 

Seeing all the notifications and posts on my smartphone is like listening to a dripping faucet late at night. At first, the constant drip, drip, drip of news is annoying, concerning, and even appalling, but after a time—maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour, maybe more—we block out the noise and fall asleep. The constant noise may disturb our slumber and invade our dreams but—for the most part, we block it out. 

Life-threatening injuries, shootings, fatalities, a blue KIA stolen three blocks away: these droplets of alarm, these little globes of pain, suffering, and death roll off me now like water off a duck. As of this writing, the latest mass shooting has taken place in Winthrop, Massachusetts. By the time this is published, according to the national average, there will have been ten more mass shootings. Drip, drip, drip. 

Being uncomfortably numb is understandable; it’s our collective defense mechanism. How else could we bear the emotional weight of this chronic pain, this cancer? How else could our national consciousness accept the massacre of twenty six-year-olds at Sandy Hook or the hundreds of other schoolchildren who have died since then? Our ability to make this violence part of the white noise in the cacophony of our existence allows us to go on with our daily routines. But at what cost? 

Until we wake up and acknowledge that all violence affects everyone, we forsake our own humanity, sacrificing our souls on the altar of normality. The information age has allowed us to know our world better. We could only hope that now it might help us get to know ourselves better. It we want to be real people, we cannot continue to stay numb and accept the status quo. We need to wake up. 

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Ping. Ping. Ping.

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