Photo by Matthew LeJune on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has an angle view of a sidewalk frequently used by dog walkers, and in recently watching a walker do the plastic bag pickup, the keeper saw an opportunity to do good, specifically to reframe an obvious thought process from one of some absurdity into one of social significance.
The realistic thinking must go: “I am picking up and saving the digestive waste from the descendant of a wolf that shares my home and I will do this every day for so long as the “wolf” is part of my life because I love him/her that much!”
Such thinking, the keeper contends, contains possibilities for some trans-species humiliation and offers little in the way of self-image boosting for the dog walker.
Here’s the keeper’s suggested thoughts for accompanying the plastic-bag dog-waste pickup: “I am not picking up dog poop; I am removing from the environment the offensive reincarnated remains of various political figures—fill in the names, and I will take them home and flush them down the toilet in the name of cultural decency and compassion.”
By way of encouraging their revised thought processes, next time he sees a dog walker do his plastic bag thing, the keeper will consider that he is watching him—the dog walker, pick up and stuff into a plastic bag, either Mitch McConnell or Ron Johnson. The keeper would open the window and give a cheer, but as so often happens in politics, that would run the risk of being misunderstood.
