Ralf Roletschek (GFDL 1.2 or FAL), via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is assisting the keeper in deciphering a Repub-designed program to deal with rotten weather over the Memorial Day weekend.
Called “Weather Through Filibuster” or WTF for short, the program is based on the Repub held contention that warm sunshine is the exclusive purview of the narcissistic one percent, rain is to fall only on the struggling working class, and the pot at the end of the rainbow is not full of gold but contains the unpleasantness that most utilitarian pots contain and is therefore to be used as part of the Repub’s “trickle down” economic scheme.
Also, under WTF, truth zephyrs will be prohibited and replaced with abject lying tornadoes spawned by weather affronts out of Arizona and Texas, and twisters from the mouth of Mitch McConnell.
In Wisconsin, Repub WTF meteorologist Ron Johnson has been struck by lightning and turned into a pillar of–a four-letter word that starts with “s” but is not “salt.”
In the event of snow over the Memorial Day weekend, the Repub’s WTF weather plan issues the comforting edict that any accumulations will melt by July 4, about the time of the next insurrection of cyclonic ignorance.
The keeper suggests Memorial Day plans for cookouts be changed to “nap-ins.”
